Soo…I’m just going to admit this right up front-- I’ve been day drinking since November 9th. As a professional comedian, the moment Donald Trump won the general election I lost a good 20 minutes of material from my act. But as a woman, a lesbian, and, well, a somewhat evolved member of society, I lost far more than that. I lost faith in the direction I thought this country was moving and that love, acceptance, and equality would overshadow the fear and hate that still exists in many parts of America. I know the pendulum swings both ways (just like that girl I made out with last summer), and when there is so much progress on social issues in such a short period, the pendulum is bound to swing back a little. I just didn’t expect it to swing back to, oh, the 1930’s.
Don’t get me wrong—there were over 65M voters who believed Mango Mussolini shouldn’t be anywhere near the White House, thankfully. However, there were also over 62M people who decided racism, misogyny, xenophobia, bigotry, and basic disgusting, inhumane behavior weren’t deal breakers. And to be honest, one vote for a man who is completely unqualified to be the President of the United States is one vote too many. Unfortunately, when Trump won the general election (and lost the popular vote in historic fashion (#neverforget)), it told all of those people full of hate and fear, “You were right. Your beliefs don’t need to be challenged. You don’t ever need to learn the difference between you’re and your. Just carry on with your lives.”
As we have seen since the election, the lies and propaganda Trump ran on to get so many fearful Americans to vote for him are starting to unravel. He no longer wants to lock Hillary up; he’s stepping back from a repeal of ObamaCare, and he has now admitted on his “Thank You” Tour (wtf?) that “drain the swamp” was just for show. He’s even said in an interview that he believes marriage equality has been settled by the Supreme Court and doesn’t need to be revisited. I’m not taking particular comfort in any of this, of course. The man changes his stance on issues more often than he grabs p&*ssies, and by all accounts, he’s grabbed a LOT of p&*ssies.
As his promises start to fall to the wayside, no one who voted for Hillary Clinton is going to feel duped. We all knew he was snowing the American people. We all knew he wasn’t qualified for the position for which he was applying. However, there is a very large population in this country who believed him. They believed he would be the change they were so desperately seeking; believed the lies he spread throughout his entire campaign. As Trump continues to break his promises, these are the exact people who are going to start to feel disenfranchised, angry, and lied to. It is not our job as liberal, loving, evolved people to say “I TOLD YOU SO! We knew this was going to happen, but you wouldn’t listen!” Trust me, I want to yell that from the rooftop of every building in every city in America (well, mainly in the fly over states). Instead, I try and take the high road. “We get it. We’ve been there. We’ve been fighting against this sort of man our entire lives. Instead of standing against us, why don’t you come fight with us now.” And let me assure you, I am ready to fight.
It’s hard not to get stuck on nostalgia for the current administration, even before President Obama has left office. The respect I have for the Obamas and everything they have endured while rebuilding our country over the last 8 years continues to grow. Obama has been a great President with a strong, articulate and poised First Lady and two beautiful, strong daughters. Then I think about what January 20th will look like. The sight of the Trump family literally makes my stomach turn and my skin crawl. I haven’t been able to listen to any of the man’s speeches yet, he’s promoting his Stepford daughter to his Stepford wife (Ivanka taking over First Lady duties? Ew…I mean, just ew), and looking at his two oldest sons solidifies each and every day that I’m a lesbian. Can’t we cut one of those famous Trump deals and trade Prince, David Bowie, Leonard Cohen, George Michael, Carrie Fisher and Debbie Reynolds for the entire Trump clan (pun intended)? Frankly, the family creeps me out, except maaaaybe Tiffany. I’m still not convinced she isn’t being held hostage.
Fact is, we are stuck with a Trump/Pence administration at least for now. I wish I could tell all of you that I feel hopeful about the next four political years. I don’t. What does bring me hope are all of the people who are starting to mobilize, starting to get louder. I have to believe all is not lost. We have seen some of the worst of humanity over this last year, but we have also seen some incredible people step up and speak out when before they may have otherwise assumed someone else would do it for them. People are not just donating to organizations like Planned Parenthood, The Human Rights Campaign, and the ACLU; they are volunteering, making calls, and using their voices to create change. This will be a time when the complacency stops and people get off their asses and do more than they ever have done to fight for the rights of immigrants, women, people of color and the LGBT community. For Pete’s sake, Wal-mart of all companies will be offering health insurance and benefits to same-sex couples and transgender employees! Hell has officially frozen over. Although if hell actually could freeze over, Republicans would probably use that as proof that global warming is a hoax perpetuated by the Chinese. Of course, hell will never freeze over because hell is a hoax perpetuated by the Republicans, but that’s for another article.
People will be looking to comedians for levity during this incredibly dark time in history. I will do my best to keep you laughing when I’m not crying myself to sleep in the corner or drinking alone in my apartment at 11 am yelling profanities at the television. As much as I dislike the incoming President, it’s important to remember that, somehow, it could actually be worse…only because Mike Pence is next in line for the position. It has to make you wonder when a man is that against the LGBT community. Why so upset, Mikey? The lady doth protest too much, methinks. In the one and only Vice Presidential debate, when asked about his faith, Pence said, “I try and spend a little bit of time on my knees every day.” I’m sure you do Mike…I’m sure you do.
Photo Credit: Jen Rosenstein