People often give me grief for being something of an iconoclast. I generally avoid bandwagons of any sort, preferring instead to harbor what I like to call a healthy skepticism toward stuff that’s immensely popular. Music, politics, gadgetry — you name it — if it’s in, I’m out. Once it’s out, I’m back in. (This would be the extent of any in-and-out action lately, except for the time I went to the ballgame. At least I had an outing of innings). Perhaps that explains why I haven’t won any fashion awards. When they see my get-up, they tell me to get up and go. There is a darn good reason for my aversion to the trendy, especially on a technological level: things break down, and if you’re too dependent on them, you’re screwed. A good example of this would be the clerk who cannot make change because the register is broken, or a student who can’t compute two plus two because his calculator bit the dust. My particular instance is much more tragic; I had intended to run a conversational-style interview with three major porn stars that I conducted during the AVN convention, but my recording device ate the tape. Therefore, I’m relying on memory to pull this off. (Don’t tell me to “go digital.” I’ve got a digit for you.) I met with Eddie Stone, Johnny Hazzard, and Jan Fischer (pronounced “jawn”) for an informal chat at, yes, a large round table in the middle of the convention floor at the Sands Expo Center. They’re the big guns of Rascal Video, the outfit commandeered by the illustrious Chi Chi LaRue. While I cannot quote them verbatim, I can, at the very least, provide a portrayal of porn folk through my eyes, as undiluted (and undilated) as possible. Like all of us, they have differences. Like some of us, they’re pleasant. Like few of us, they get paid to get laid. Stone and Hazzard are both 27. Fischer is 23. Hazzard got into the game a little over two years ago by merely contacting director Doug Jeffries and expressing interest. I asked him about the audition process, and he sort of shrugged it off like it was no big deal. (If I were to attempt such a coup they’d demand a DNA sample out of sincere disbelief, not to mention severe nausea.) Stone joined the gang about a year and a half ago. Fischer’s new. Stone told me he used to be a go-go dancer at a club in L.A. called Mickey’s, which Chi Chi would frequent. Jan is from Berlin, Germany. Chi Chi gets around. (I said gets, not is.) These guys are exclusives, which means they’re under contract to work only with Rascal. A good guess is that Chi Chi directs perhaps 75% of their stuff, and Jeffries contributes the other quarter. (FYI: Jeffries used to be on camera in his younger days, then occupied the director’s chair at Studio 2000 before joining Rascal.) Stone told me the biggest difference between the two is marketing. Hazzard jumped in and noted that since Jeffries spent time as an actor, his dialogue and organizational skills top the list, and that Chi Chi is more technical; e.g., camera angles, lighting, etc. I do recall one quote, and that was from Stone when I asked the guys if they had significant others: “I’m married to my career.” Hazzard is single, and Fischer has a boyfriend. None of them claim to pull any hint of jealousy or other petty attachments to each other. They root for the team. In fact, Stone and Hazzard were friendly acquaintances before they became professionals. (They hang all over one another now, almost creating the appearance of being inseparable.) Check out the opening scene between them in Stone Fox. It went quickly. Fischer said that occasionally you get stuck shooting with a model you’re not particularly attracted to. These scenes can take 8-10 hours. Shouldn’t it be the other way around? I recall asking if having sex for a living has changed their outlook on sex in their personal lives. Johnny — ever the wild man — told me it only makes it better, but “the hunt” isn’t fun anymore. It lasts about “two seconds.” Stone made the observation that his work doesn’t interfere. To paraphrase: “When I’m Eddie Stone, I’m Eddie Stone. When I’m me, I’m me.” Fischer appears to be quite comfortable with his craft and his relationship, as both his family and his boyfriend respect his chosen field. Hazzard boasts the most impressive record with ten flicks to his credit. Stone has done eight. Fischer is in five, two of which — Kolide and A Night at Bruno’s — were shot in Germany. The only flick that all three have appeared in together is Bolt, which is sort of Rascal’s tribute to Cecil B. DeMille in that it’s a three-disc set that demands you take vacation time from work to view in its entirety. This was great fun. I apologize for my technological fumble, but I’ve learned that, at least in the writer’s corner, there will always be a use for a pen and paper — as opposed to the bank, where there will always be a use for a pen and teller. Thanks guys, thanks Chi Chi, and most importantly, thanks to Rob Reimer at Channel 1 for once again hooking me up.